You’re Not Competing with Men. Relax.

(And Yes, You Can Use the Pink Highlighter)

Let me tell you about my resume.

The one I used to print out, back when I was in my early twenties, sweaty-palmed, and convinced that if I didn’t hustle exactly like a man, I would end up living in a cardboard box behind a bottle store.

That resume was pink. Not neon. Not screaming. Just a soft, confident blush pink, with a few delicate flowers tracing the margin. Like a quiet hello. Like a woman saying, “I’m here, and I’m not hiding.”

I still use pink documents today, actually. Just less aggressive. More… assured. The same way you stop shouting when you know people are finally listening.

I printed it on thick, glossy paper so that when a hiring manager (likely a tired man in a gray suit) picked it up, he would have no choice but to acknowledge that a woman had been here. A woman who liked flowers. A woman who was not sorry about it.

I got the job, by the way.

But for years before that, I had a knot in my neck the size of a golf ball because I thought I was losing a race I was never even entered in. I thought God was grading me on the curve of “Masculine Corporate Energy,” and I was getting a D-.

If you are tired. If you are exhausted from trying to lower your voice in meetings, suppress your intuition, and pretend you don’t tear up at weddings or baby animal videos…. sister, pull up a chair. Let’s talk about the divine art of relaxing.

Here is the lie we swallowed whole: To win, you must play their game by their rules.

We look at the boardroom. We look at the loudest voice in the Zoom call. We look at the aggressive five-year plan. And we think, “Okay. I need to be a slightly shorter, more emotional version of that.”

So we cut our hair short (literally or metaphorically). We hide the decorative planner. We stop using exclamation points because they seem “unprofessional.” We trade our instinct for a spreadsheet and our compassion for a SWOT analysis.

And you know what happens? We burn out. We feel fake. And we start to resent the very men we are trying to imitate, which isn’t fair to them or us.

Proverbs 31 often gets weaponized against us as a to-do list from hell (She gets up at 3 AM! She buys a field! She makes belts!). But read it again. That woman isn’t stressed. She isn’t competing. She is flourishing. She laughs at the days to come (verse 25). She laughs! When was the last time you laughed while trying to compete in a sphere you weren’t designed for?

Let’s rewind to the Garden. Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created mankind in his own image… male and female he created them.”

Notice: He didn’t create Adam and then a worse version of Adam.
He didn’t say, “Here is the prototype (Man), and here is the slightly defective, more emotional backup (Woman).”

He made two distinct masterpieces that reflect different facets of His character.

Men are often (not always, but often) wired for the linear. The hunt. The singular focus. The climb. That is a beautiful, God-given design. It builds roads, wins wars, and takes out the trash.

But you? You are wired for the cyclical. The nurture. The multi-dimensional awareness. The connection.

Imagine a bird trying to compete with a fish in a swimming race. The bird is thrashing its wings, sinking, swallowing water, screaming, “WHY AM I SO BAD AT THIS?” And God is up on the cloud saying, “Child. You have wings. Fly.”

Stop trying to swim. Spread your wings.

When I handed over that pink floral resume, my mentor at the time (a very stern woman who wore only black turtlenecks) pulled me aside. She said, “You look like a preschool teacher, not a project manager.”

Ouch.

But here is the funny part. That pink resume got me the interview because it was memorable. That softness, that femininity, that splash of color in a sea of black and white Times New Roman? It was a power move.

Because femininity is not weakness. It is disarming strength.

Think about Esther. She didn’t march into the king’s court with a sword. She didn’t try to out-muscle Haman. She used beauty, timing, and strategy. She fasted (spiritual connection). She prepared a banquet (hospitality). She moved in her feminine flow, and she saved an entire nation.

Think about Deborah. She was a judge, a warrior, and a prophetess. But notice how she led. She didn’t do it with rage or masculine mimicry. She did it with wisdom. She sat under a palm tree (which is a very feminine, chill place to run a government, by the way). She invited Barak to join her, but she didn’t need to be him.

When you embrace your femininity – the intuition, the empathy, the ability to multitask, the attention to beauty, the “pink flowers” – you are not shrinking. You are stepping into your actual authority.

The Anxiety of Imitation

Let’s get real for a second. Why are you so tired?

Because imitation is anxiety-producing. Trying to be someone you are not is like trying to hold a beach ball under water. Eventually, your arms give out, and the ball explodes in your face.

I used to try to negotiate like a man. Direct. Hard. No smiling. Do you know how that went? Terribly. Because I am a smiler. I am a relationship-builder. When I stopped trying to “win” the negotiation and started trying to solve the problem, my numbers went up.

I used to try to network like a man. Firm handshake. Business card jab. Talk about the bottom line. I hated every second of it. Now? I network over coffee. I ask about your kids. I bring cookies. And guess who gets invited to the table? The woman with the cookies.

Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”

Notice it doesn’t say, “Work at it like a man.” It says work at it like you. The you God made. The you with the floral scent and the nurturing heart and the ability to cry at a car commercial and still close a deal.

The Funny Part (Because We Need to Laugh)

Can we just admit how ridiculous this whole “competing with men” thing is sometimes?

I once tried to out-stoic a male colleague. He was discussing a budget cut of $50k. He was a statue. I, however, felt a deep empathy for the junior staff who would lose hours. I said, “But what about Steve? Steve has twins!”

He looked at me like I had just grown a third eye.
I looked at him like he was a robot.
Neither of us was right. Neither of us was wrong. We were just different.

He saved the company money. I saved Steve’s sanity. The company needed both of us.

So, stop trying to be the stoic budget guy. And gentlemen, stop trying to be the emotional twin-saver. We need the whole body of Christ. We need the masculine and the feminine. We need the black suit and the pink flowers.

Okay, you’re convinced. But how do you actually do this on Monday morning at 9 AM?

1. Stop apologizing for your intuition.
That “gut feeling” you have about a bad hire or a shady client? That’s not hysteria. That is the Holy Spirit and your female pattern-recognition working overtime. Call it “strategic insight.” Use it. When you’re right (and you usually are), don’t say “I just had a feeling.” Say, “Based on the relational data I’ve gathered, this doesn’t align.”

2. Make your space beautiful.
If you want a pink stapler, buy the pink stapler. If you want a screensaver of a field of lavender, put it there. God is a God of beauty. The Tabernacle had gold, jewels, and intricate embroidery. Stop living in a beige rectangle. Beauty is not frivolous; it is a glimpse of Heaven.

3. Redefine “Productivity.”
Men often define productivity as output. You might define it as impact. Sometimes your most productive hour is the one where you stop working to listen to a coworker who is struggling. Sometimes your best “work” is sending a handwritten thank you note. That is not inefficiency. That is Kingdom economics.

4. The Power of the Pause.
When a man is pressured, he often charges forward. When a woman is pressured, her superpower is often the pause. Let me think about that. Let me pray on that. Let me sleep on that. Don’t let the urgency of the masculine energy rush your feminine discernment.

5. Be the one who feeds people.
I don’t care if you are the CEO. Bring the snacks. Ask about the birthday. Send the flowers. This is not “secretary work.” This is hospitality, and hospitality is one of the highest spiritual gifts (Romans 12:13). You are making space for humanity in a machine world.

So……

Dear one who is reading this on her phone while hiding in the bathroom at work,

You are not behind.
You are not too soft.
You are not “too much” (and also not “not enough”).

The race you think you are losing? You were never meant to run it. You were meant to dance through it.

God didn’t give you that tender heart as a mistake. He didn’t give you that love for flowers and color and connection as a distraction. Those are your arrows. Those are your armor.

Imagine Jesus with the disciples. He wasn’t competing with them. He was leading them. He washed their feet (the ultimate feminine act of service, honestly). He noticed the widow’s mite. He stopped for the bleeding woman. He operated from a place of such deep, secure identity that He didn’t need to prove a single thing.

That is your model. Secure identity.

You are a daughter of the King. You don’t need to act like a son to get an inheritance. You already have it. It’s called grace.

So, go ahead. Make your CV pink. Put the flowers on it. Use the cursive font if you want.

The right job, the right husband, the right ministry, the right life, they aren’t looking for a man in a skirt. They are looking for you. The authentic, spirit-filled, slightly emotional, beautifully intuitive, flower-loving you.

And when you finally stop thrashing around in the swimming lane, trying to beat the guys to the wall? You’ll look up. And you’ll realize you’ve had wings this whole time.

Fly, Daisy. Fly.

Amen? (And also, lol.)